Filed Under:
January 1, 2020 , by Dr Julian Northbrook

Daily Newsletter

Filed Under:
June 2, 2017 , by Dr Julian Northbrook

I’m so happy.

Today I get to go to my favourite place in the entire world.

The Tokyo Immigration Office.


In case you’re not as good at picking up on sarcasm as us Brits are, when I say “happy” and “favourite” I am being very sarcastic.

I’m not happy in the slightest.

There are few places I hate as much as the immigration office. Never mind that it takes so damn long to get there.


But since I actually want to get my Japanese residency, I basically have to just do what the immigration office says, whether I like it or not. If they say, “get here now,” get there I will.


Pre-order for my book is now open.

It’s called:

Master English FAST: An Unconventional Guide to Speaking Extraordinarily Eloquent English without Making Mistakes, Forgetting Your Words or Causing Cringe-inducing misunderstandings

Can you tell I like long titles?

It costs £19.97 + £3.15 postage and if you get it now you’ll also get the complete audio book totally free (which will sell separately later).

I’m expecting to have the book finished by mid-June, and then by time the publishing company gets it, sorts out all the legal stuff and runs the first batch of printing, sends the a proof copy to me for approval etc… it should be ready to send late June or early July.

But although you’ll have to wait for the book…

It’ll be well worth it to get the audio version included (which I’ll be selling separately after the book is published).

Pre-order your copy of Master English FAST here and get the audio version completely free.


Julian Northbrook

P.S. What are you waiting for?

Pre-order your copy of Master English FAST here and get the audio version completely free.

Note: use the “book presell” template — there will be a different link for different people

also no “p.s.” for the people with the “ MEF” tag

Filed Under:
May 14, 2017 , by Dr Julian Northbrook

Girls have so much attitude, don’t they?

My daughter got a belt. It’s multi-coloured. Three, horizontal stripes. Pink, blue and yellow.

Thing is…

It’s a tad long for her.

So the end of the belt just hangs loose.

Now, Ryu, one of the cheeky boys who lives in the same building as us, saw this and said:

“You’ve got a three-coloured dick!”

Emma was very upset. So much so that she came in crying.

Never mind.

Kids will be kids.

Only after a few minutes she suddenly got up, marched back outside and shouted, top of her voice:

“Ryu your head looks like 10,000 colour dick!!!”

And marched back in.

Unsurprisingly all the mum’s in the little park in front of our building thought this was quite, quite funny.

As dumb a retort as this is though…

You’ve gotta be pretty damn good at a language to be able to speak like this.

There’s wordplay and subtle nuances involved (even if what is said isn’t that subtle).

Can you do it?


Julian Northbrook

Language Punk. One-colour-dick.